Thomas: Casting Off Loneliness and Worries
Imagine outliving all of your friends and all but one family member. That was the case for Thomas and Lilly (not their real names). They had been married for more that 70 years, never had children and were now in their nineties. Lilly had recently been placed in a long-term care facility because of her dementia and increasing physical care needs. As a result, Thomas was living alone in the apartment they had once shared.
As months passed, a professional who had been working with the couple became concerned about Thomas’ physical and mental well-being and contacted Volunteer of America–Minnesota’s Protective Services for assistance. Our Protective Services program offers information and assistance, referral and assessments regarding incapacitated adults who are having difficulty with financial management, or personal decision-making, or who may be in need of a guardian and/or conservator.
A social worker from Protective Services visited Thomas in his own home to evaluate his abilities and determine whether he could benefit from intervention or other assistance.
The social worker identified several problems during the initial assessment. She found very little food in the home. Thomas indicated that, due to his decreasing strength, he was no longer able to walk to the grocery store. He hadn’t seen his physician for years and didn’t know how to contact him.
The social worker also observed that Thomas was overwhelmed by worry and loneliness. He had not seen his wife for over a week – and he couldn’t get there because he could no longer drive and had no other transportation. He was burdened by guilt because he could not continue to care for Lilly by himself, and worried incessantly about both the quality of her care and the expense.
The most shocking issue to surface was that Thomas had devised a serious and specific plan for suicide. He claimed he would just as soon be dead. The social worker immediately contacted both Thomas’ doctor and sought the advice of a specialized mental health professional. As a result, Thomas made a verbal contract promising that he would not harm himself before his appointment with the doctor. Before the social worker left his home after the assessment, Thomas smiled and said, “Sorry you had to spend your afternoon with such a hard guy.”
As a result of the assessment, Protective Services was able to assist Thomas in a variety of ways to improve his circumstances. To make certain Thomas had food in his home, they contacted Thomas’ only living family member, an elderly sister, who agreed to deliver groceries on a regular basis. For his physical well-being, the Protective Services social worker accompanied Thomas to his doctor appointment and coordinated home physical therapy services to increase his strength and balance. To ensure their finances were managed now and into the future, as well as to reassure Thomas that his assets and income could be used to pay for his needs and his wife’s care, they referred Thomas to a Volunteers of America–Minnesota Elder Law Attorney who worked with him to facilitate a professional power of attorney. For ongoing assistance with care and services, Protective Services referred him to a Volunteers of America–Minnesota outreach social worker. They also addressed Thomas’ concerns about Lilly’s care with the long-term care facility.
Today, Thomas lives in a supportive, senior apartment near Lilly’s long-term care facility and can visit her on a regular basis. His loneliness and worries have diminished, and he has made no additional threats to harm himself. Thomas’ sister told Protective Services staff, “I want to thank you so much for how kind and good you were with him. He has been much better off since you came into his life.”