No Longer Angry, Amber Values Freedom
“I can take care of myself,” Amber growled in her usual angry demeanor. “Amber” (not her real name) spent most of day on her own because she lived with her single mother who was gone at work most of the day. Evenings were lonely too. Her mom spent most evenings boozing it up with a steady stream of boyfriends. Amber’s father, also an alcoholic, was in Amber’s life only sporadically. Having no dependable parental presence made Amber sad – but mostly angry.
By the age of 15, Amber’s contempt for her mother peaked. She regularly defied her mother’s authority and frequently initiated verbal attacks, which sometimes escalated into full-blown physical assaults. And every now and then, Amber simply ran away.
Amber’s behavior was so out of control, that she spent the next couple of years in a series of nine group homes and residential treatment centers for at-risk female juveniles. Her physical and verbal aggression continued to be a problem in these settings. Then, after successfully completing a program at a tenth facility, the county referred Amber to Volunteers of America’s Family Treatment Foster Care program.
Volunteers of America placed Amber in the home of a stable two-parent, foster family who had specialized training in managing youth with emotional and behavioral problems. From the start, these foster parents established strict expectations and ground rules. Amber never liked rules. And when she went to live in her new foster home, rules hadn’t improved in their appeal. But instead of running away, becoming verbally or physically belligerent, Amber retreated to her own bedroom where she isolated herself for the first few weeks.
To ease Amber’s transition and help her get on the right track, a team of Volunteers of America professionals provided Amber and her foster family with a variety of support services. They helped Amber develop a plan with goals in the areas of independent living skills and education. They also helped Amber become employed and assisted her in formulating a transitional living plan that included steps toward becoming independent after high school graduation.
When she was placed in foster care, Amber had been extremely behind in high school graduation credits. Her new foster parents were great advocates of education and went above and beyond to help Amber catch up and graduate on time. They encouraged Amber to explore post-secondary enrollment options (PSEO) where she could earn both high school and college credits simultaneously. Before long, Amber enrolled in a PSEO program at Dunwoody College of Technology where she became fascinated with the Automotive Collision and Repair program.
After school, Amber worked at a local grocery store. Hired as a bagger, Amber’s hard work and determination quickly paid off when she was promoted to cashier, then to the coffee shop and then to the customer service zone. And each promotion rewarded Amber with a pay raise. For the first time in her life, Amber discovered that she enjoyed working with people.
Today, Amber has graduated from high school, turned 18 and left foster care. She currently is part of a program for young adults who are transitioning from foster care to independence. Amber is rebuilding her relationship with her mother, who is now sober, and has held the same job for more than a year. She is pursuing a post-secondary education in Automotive Collision and Repair at Dunwoody College and dreams of being part of the MTV “Pimp My Ride” auto-body team. No longer angry, Amber talks about how she values freedom, enjoys responsibility and finally recognizes that she has value, potential – and a future.
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